Vraylar, meet Veronica. 


This medication can decrease hallucinations, help you to think more clearly and positively about yourself, feel less agitated, and take a more active part in everyday life.

Cool, huh?

Kind of.

I have been taking the antipsychotic, Zyprexa, for about 6 years. It helped me stay away from paranoia, mild hallucinations, and delusions (beliefs that aren't real). An example of a common delusion for me is that I have to drowned myself to save the world. I definitely shouldn't be driving my chevy to the levee...

I started skimming the surface heading steadily to hyper mania so my psychiatrist needed to change things up. Out with the Z and in with the V. In hypo/hyper mania everything just seems to make more sense...even when it is senseless. I see souls through eyes more than I usually do. I recognize the divinity in others and I can tell some recognize it in me. I KNOW that heaven is on earth and I'm lifting that veil. The world lights up. I light up. 

And then I swallow a Vraylar and say goodbye to it all. It silences that side of me. It mutes the glorious music of madness. 

What do I not say goodbye to? My creative abilities. My stability. The longer spans of time between hospitalization. I realized I had two choices: Excitement or Joy. I decided on the latter. Sure, colors might not be as bright, but they are real. Whatever that means. 

So I embrace (loosely) my new Vraylar.  Because if not I will have to say Bye Bye Miss Veronica's Mind.