Someone turn a lamp on. It got dark in here.

What do you get when you cross The Holy Trinity with Kim Jong-il and Satan? A blossoming friendship. That's what.

I finally made a friend who also has a pretty gnarly case of the mental illness.

We will call my friend "Kim" from here on out.

Because that is someone he is when he's manic. The infamous Kim Jong-il. Kim also has Bipolar 1 Disorder and he's the only friend I have that does. Really the only person I personally know who has also had several psychotic breaks. 

Kim and I decided to have a jam. Or should I say...Kim and Jesus. I was skimming my own surface at the time of meeting Kim. My delusions of grandeur started getting the best of me. He had just gotten out of the hospital and I was struggling with staying in my own reality as Veronica. 

We will call me "Jesus" from here on out.

So Jesus invited Kim over. Kim brought an electric guitar. Jesus had two amps so they both plugged in. The first thing Kim did was crank the amp to its full capacity. Heavy, driving metal music. Punk. Loud. Chaotic. Awesome. Jesus had never played like this. It was new and felt foreign but Jesus prevailed. Jesus felt things he had yet to feel. The jam was great because all they had was water, but Jesus didn't care. *Waves hand. Makes wine.

Ok that last part didn't happen. 

Kim shared more of his story. Other times he felt like Satan. His entire landscape was dark in mania. Jesus' landscape was generally light in mania but dark was always trying to get in and take his light away. Kim and Jesus had a long discussion about it. They have talked about it since. 

Jesus explained that dark felt "bad" to him. The trident-toting Korean of chaos said that it just wasn't so. One night after a conversation, Kim was able to give insight in a text:

Don't be afraid of demons. They are really your ancestors. They are the unheard, unresolved energies of yourself and your environment. They are the source of your creative power. You already have the light, so by accepting the unknown, you will have the power to heal the dark. The angels are already with you. I can feel it. 

I still have reservations when it comes to the dark. Maybe someday I'll be able to sit in it without feeling like it's taking something from me. For now, I'll leave it to my friend to lead in darkness. It's a side of me I need to get to know. I think it's just as important.