My father and I disagreed

My father and I were alike


Some phone calls we’d raise up our voices.

I yelled so hard once that I cried.

I blamed him for damage I noticed.

I cut him right out of my life.


I built up a wall all around me.

If he wouldn’t call why would I?


Summers we had to go see him

I miss being there by the bay


My father was strong and erratic

Wound like a top on most days


Then sickness came knocking kept knocking

The moment had so quickly come.


My sister she thought he was sleeping

My little niece dialed 911


If only once more I could call him

If only to feel through this numb


One year preceding his death

I realized the grudge was so dumb


Somewhere along the way

Forgiveness fell on both our sides


It didn’t matter which one of us called

What mattered was we were alive.


When the moments they feel far too heavy

In the moments I take off the gloves

I find consolation in knowing

Where there is loss there is love.