There is merit in turning to the past. My mom and I sat on the couch a few months back and went through old slides from when she was a little girl. I saw the sprawling roots of my family tree. Looking to the past also helps us understand certain trajectories. If we experience something difficult that we had experienced before, we can rest at ease knowing we will pull through again and again. Sometimes I run across old pictures of my nieces and nephews and a surge of love runs through my heart. Once, I was walking to the grocery store and someone was wearing the same perfume my Grammie wore. I immediately thought of the shelf she put her perfume on in the bathroom. The way she would snuggle me in her afghan on the rocking chair. It feeIs good to remember good times. It also comes with a tinge of hurt. That time was so good. That time can never be replicated.
There is merit in searching into the future. It's as if we are imagining the potential big picture. The future is like the carrot dangled in front of a rabbit. The future can drive us. It can pull us forward. It can fill our tank when we feel empty inside thinking, "I just need to get through this patch." I get excited when I think about my future. Sometimes it is so clear that I swear my ideas are going to turn into my realities. I smile when I think of the future. I look in my calendar at events that are coming up. I imagine how wonderful it will be to spend quality time with people. I wonder who I will run into and what types of lessons I'll gain.
But of all perceptions of time, the only truly perceivable one is the present. It's the only time that is honest. I find myself romanticizing about the past and fantasizing about the future. Time is like the sound of a gunshot. You hear it and then it is forever gone. You can reminisce on how that sound sounded but you can't actually hear it again. You can imagine what that sound might sound like again but you can't actually hear it again. Only in that moment did you truly experience it.
Anytime I sit down, close my eyes, breathe, the worries of my mind recede. I shed the wealth of memories. I cut off the completely unrealistic view of moments that haven't even happened. My eyes are looking right before me. I'm at this coffee shop. I'm typing these words. I'm writing a blog. I'm here.